Diaper Duty

Today I took on the Museum of Nature and Science with the kids and I lost-majorly! This was our first visit since Hank was born. I thought I had a handle on it. I thought I could swing it. I was wrong.

As we were driving down to the museum, I was mentally patting myself on the back for getting all the kids dressed, hair done, shoes on, pottied, diapered, a shower for me, and lunches packed before 9 a.m. For Pete's sake I even had healthy stuff like grapes and oranges. I had nursed Hank and changed him right before we walked out the door. I was only ten minutes late. I was thinking, not too shabby momma, see you can do this 4 kid thing. With my led foot problem we even arrived on time to meet our friends. Cathy and I were sorely out numbered at a rate of 7 kids aged 7 and under to 2 adults. But we are old pros at this, so I thought...

At our first exhibit Hank started to get a little noisy, so I though I would put him in the Maya to fall sleep. I picked him up and instantly felt wet. As a mom, you know immediately what has happened. You would like to think he spit-up and somehow it reached his bottom or that some of your water you have yet to drink somehow dripped on him, but no. You know instantly that the baby has exploded poop all out of his diaper and there is some now resting on your hand. You brace yourself to see just how bad the blow out is and just how much fecal matter is on you. I took a peek and it was bad. But it appeared that me picking him up had caused it and it was just starting to leak up his outfit and out the leg hole. Unfortunately it was all over my hand. I rushed to the nearest bathroom with the shirt I had thrown in at the very last minute, wipes and a diaper. By the time I reached the bathroom the poop was running down my forearm. Thankfully the bathroom was empty, but it didn't have a changing table. There was a large counter that extended off the sink. It was that or the floor. So I grabbed a bunch of paper towels and attempted to not contaminate the counter. Let me abbreviate the rest of this diaper change and just tell you it is impossible to get the poop covered outfit off the kid without getting poop all over the kid and yourself. It was messy. Right in the middle of it a lady walks in. I am mortified. How disgusting to be changing a fecal infested baby on the counter near the sink. Hank is naked but half of him is covered in pea green soup colored poop. I apologize to the lady and she replies, "we have all been there." Thank you Lord for sending a kind woman and not one that would report me to the museum staff who would then throw me out. I washed him all up and then attempted to scrub up to my armpits with soap and water. YUCK! Now what to do with the outfit? Throw it away? I just couldn't. It is one of my favorite outfits. So I wrapped it in 10 paper towels and threw it in the bottom of the stroller.

Back out with Cath and the kids I put Hank in the Maya and all was well for the next 2 hours. We then stopped to have lunch and I nursed Hank. I burped him and we were going to go see the dinosaur bones. That is until he puked up half of his meal all over the front of me. So I went to set him in his car seat that has one of those head and body support cushions in it so I could wipe myself off. There were no visible signs of poop but as I set him in it and my fingers felt that immediate wet doom. When he had blown out, it shot down between the cushion and the car seat. I lifted the cushion to discover a poop pool in the bottom of the seat and all over the bottom buckle. Now what to do with the car seat? Throw it away? I just couldn't. I had to get Hank home. So, I used every last wipe I had and cleaned it as best I could.

Well, the only positive at this point was that I had already had lunch. Now that I have been up to my elbows in baby poop twice and spit- up down the front of me, I think it is time for a shower and some laundry. I now see all to clearly that this mama ain't got it together.

4 comments:

Monday through Sunday said...

You are great! Things like this just happen...we have all been there! I remember going out with my husband with one of our young babies. Once we were seated in the restaurant...baby got fussy. I ended up going to car with baby..while hubby ate alone and then we switched places..I ate alone and he sat in the car..lol. I think we got take out from then on..lol! Poop,pee,puke,slobber..just part of life with kids. :)

Steph said...

I don't think it matters if you have one baby or 4 kids...this stuff just happens! But it sounds like you made the best of it. I'm sure the girls enjoyed the museum and were thankful for the field trip. Hope you are doing well! :)

Lacey said...

How ironic- Hads blew out and pooped all over me yesterday too!! So, I know it's not funny but I did have to laugh. And you are too hard on yourself. You are doing an awesome job being a momma of 4. In my book you have it ALL TOGETHER!!

Devin said...

Arg! "Poop pool" made me chuckle. Aahhhh, the memories:-)

PS...you are doing a GREAT job at this four kid thing!