Kids = Shoplifting

Hopefully this won't be my last post. Well, I don't know, do prisoners get internet time? I have committed two crimes this week and am having a hard time resolving them. It has been a whirlwind since we returned from California on Sunday. Sunday evening I ran to the store for the weeks groceries. Max then left a 3:45 am for Pittsburgh on Monday. Later that day I was starting to get stuff out for dinner and couldn't find the ham steaks I had bought. They were buy one get one free and I remember watching them ring up with great satisfaction that I was going to get two dinners out of $4.99! I searched the fridge, the freezer, and my car. They were nowhere. I checked the pantry thinking I could have had a mental lapse. I have put the milk in there before and the cereal in the fridge, but the ham steaks were nowhere to be found. I then started searching for my receipt to call and see if I had left them at the store. It was a long shot that they would know since it was the night before but hey those babies were buy one get one! I couldn't find my receipt. I was convinced the clerk had bagged my hams and thrown the receipt in the same bag. Bummer.

I called anyway and gave three people my ham steak sob story before getting the manager. They didn't have my hams or my receipt but they would honor my word and I could come by and pick up two more! Now that is customer service. I thanked the King Soopers manager profusely and trotted away with my hams. They were worth the 4 extra car seat buckles in the day. I used one for dinner that night and put the other in the freezer for future use. Fast forward to last night when I pulled the corn out of the brown plastic bag they were in and low and behold I found two ham steaks! Could they be multiplying? Oh no! I had inadvertently stolen two ham steaks from King Soopers. Would they let me return them? Would they arrest me if I tried? Would they throw them away since they have been out of the store and are a perishable good? Could I ask them to charge me for another pair? What to do? I mean how do I explain all of this and not sound like a liar?

While I have been wrestling with the best way to tackle this problem, I committed yet another crime. I was at Target this morning and put Hank in his car seat in the buggy portion of the cart and Kaitlin in the little kid top part. I was hurriedly throwing diapers and all the other things I had forgotten in my rushed trip to King Soopers earlier in the cart. When the bottom overflowed, I started putting stuff next to Kaitlin, then as she got buried I started putting things next to Hank. Time just flies when you are having fun at Target and before I knew it I was almost late picking Karlie up from preschool. Cue Hank meltdown. I rushed to the cashier and start unloading the groceries as fast as I could. About that time Kaitlin wiggles out of her buckle and stands up in the cart. With one hand trying to keep her seated, going "shhh, shhh, shhh" to Hank and trying to find my wallet in my Mary Poppins style purse that has everything from diapers and wipes to lipstick and fruit snacks it it with my other hand, I get all checked out and raced to the car. Hank was full on screaming by now and I had 10 minutes to get the kids in the car and to Karlie's school. I put Kaitlin in and started loading all the bags into the car. I then lifted the 30 pound car seat to find a can of whip cream had rolled under it. The red can blended in with the Target cart when I did my final sweep through to make sure I had gotten everything. Blasted whip cream! What to do? With a very guilty conscious I grabbed the whip cream and drove away. I should have unpacked the kids and gone back but at the moment the crying baby won. I called Target when I got home to see if they could just charge me over the phone for it. Unfortunately, no, I would have to come back in. So I now have to work in yet another trip to Target and King Soppers this week and possibly a trip to the police station. :) Who knew having kids led to shoplifting? They really should come with a warning.


Steph said...

I've been there before Katie. I took the easy (ok, criminal) way out and chalked it up to a "simple" mistake. I figure it evens out for the couple of times I have been double charged for something but didn't was too lazy to take the time to go back and get it straightened out. Who knew our kids would make criminals out of us?!
P.S. I tagged you on my blog!

Anonymous said...

Well I dont think Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid got their start this way, but you could use a phrase from Richard Nixon..... IM NOT A CROOK HAHA DAD

Courtney said...

OK, this just happened to me a couple days ago! We had been at the mall and as I was folding up the stroller I noticed a little stuffed bear hiding in the basket underneath. Cate must have found a friend! Luckily, MIL was with me, so she ran it back into Barnes and Noble. Phew. Those kids.

Monday through Sunday said...

LOL ~ been there done that! :)

Anonymous said...

You have got to see this. Obama playing on XBox. Funniest video ever.