The Dating Game

It has been a long time since I have dated.  Well, I don't suppose I ever really dated.  Middle school doesn't count.  Since moving to Arizona I find myself in the dating scene.  With women.  Now don't get up in arms, I feel like I am dating moms.  In the past I have had friends through school, work or classes that the kids took, or friends that were friends of family.  We became friends by our common pursuit, stage of life or location.  Here I am starting without those systems in place.  Max has an instant connection and group of guys through work but I have been dating.  This is how it goes...


First you scope each other out as you drop off the kids at school.  You notice each other and then one morning someone actually says, "hi."  Then it may be a few more passes before one of you decide to introduce yourself.  Then you say "hi" with each others name a few days in a row.  Then after the kids are in their room you strike up a conversation that eventually leads to a, "We should get together sometime."  You go home and examine your calendars and find a day you can both meet.  If they also have a younger child then we meet at the park to chat while the kids play.  If not you meet at some other neutral location like a coffee shop while Hank is in preschool.  If that date goes well then you are ready to move to the next level in the relationship and have them over to your house.

They come over and your house is spectacularly clean and you pretend like it is always that way.  You make sweet treats for the kids and have lots of fruits and vegetables available too.  You slowly start to find out how they ended up in the God forsaken desert, a little about their husbands, what they do when they are not volunteering at the school or doing mom chores.  If all goes well, she invites you to her house and you get to know them a little better.  At some point in the relationship you decide if it is worth investing yourself and to keep dating or cut her loose and vice versa.  This is far more difficult than breaking up with some dude that you are never going to see.  You will still see her every morning.

When the dating is going well you decide that since you are friends and your kids are friends maybe your husbands could be friends.  This is a rare occurrence.  We have made it this far in the dating game twice since we have been here.  At this point you realize they are either going to be mom only friends or maybe just maybe you could be family friends.  Months and months of dating ahead to find out.  It is so much work!!

How I long for those easy friendships that just happened.  It was a unique time of sharing the struggles of school, being broke, getting pregnant and starting to emerge as true adults.  Sharing the growing pains allowed us to bond in a strong way that transcended all the other stuff that gets in the way of just being who you are.  It forged bonds that have lasted a decade.

Maybe I am looking for a rebound?  I have been on three dates this week alone and got invited to two second dates.  Does that mean I am cheating??? :)  So much to learn in the dating game.

8 comments:

Courtney said...

Oh my gosh KT! ROTFL! It is sooo true! But you are dating waaay more than I did at your stage in the moving game! So congrats (player)! ;) No really, I know you will be finding friends easily. You are the type that everyone is drawn to-friendly, outgoing, and easy to talk to. There was a reason I decided to sit next to you on our first day of nursing school.:)
XOXO

Lacey said...

I am laughing so hard. YOU are so cute Katie. SO glad you are meeting friends...(I mean getting dates.) ;0)
My friend Shannon's house is officially on the market, I will have to set you two up on a blind date when she moves. ;0) You will love her. And I think you will both be good for each other.
You are such a FUN Mom, Friend, and wife. And I am sure you will have MANY dates in your future!!!
Who wouldn't want to date you?!?!?

Shannon said...

We are SO going on a date! And a second date! And Max and Petri better hit it off or else! : ) Petri can't pull off cowboy hats like Max can though...problem? I have to be honest, this post makes my stomach sick because I know it is going to be me soon...and I haven't been in the dating pool in 23 years. Oh Lord help us!

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